don't understand!!

LIFE SO STRANGE MAYBE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT MAYBE I DO AND DON'T ACCEPT SOME THINGS...BUT ONE THING IT'S SURE..IT'S STRANGE...SOMETIMES U FIND THINGS AND BELIEVE THEY ARE RIGHT OR PERFECT AND ADTER YEARS U SAY NO I DON'T WHANT THIS AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE THAT MAKES U CHANGE AND FEEL URE IN PARADISE AND U BELIVE THAT URE LIFE CHANGED BUT AFTER MORE TIME U SEE THAT THING MAYBE TS THE SAME LIKE THE THINGS BEFORE..OR U THINK IT PLAYS WITH U AND THEN I ASK ..WHAT HAPPENDS? WHY ME? AGAIN? THEN IT DOESENT EXIST NOTHING PERFECT IN THIS WORLD OR AM I TO STRANGE AND NOT HAPPY WITH THINGS THAT GOD GIVES US?? RARE BUT WHY OTHER PEOPLE ARE HAPPY ? DO THEY HAVE ANOTHER CHANCES? ARE THEY MORE SPECIAL THEN ME? MMM RARE BUT MAYBE I NEED TO ACCEPT IT...MAYBE GOD WHATNS TO SHOW US SOMETHING? DON'T KNOW BUT THE TRUTH IS I'M SAD, SAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENDS..SPECIAL THINGS ARE RARE AND SOMETHIMES WE DON'T WHANT TO LOOSE THEM AND THEN WE ACT LIKE STUPIDS OR SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT..SO WHAT CAN WE DO..HOW DO WE ACT NOT TO LOOSE ...THE THINGS IF WE TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE SPECIAL MAYBE THEY LAUGH MAYBE THEY THING WE ARE CRAZY OR LIE BECAUSE THEY THINK THEU ARE NORMAL LIKE US...OR MAYBE I'M WRONG AND I THINK THAT ITS SPECIAL BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPEND TO ME SOMETHING THAT MAKED ME FEL IN ANOTHER DIMENSION AND THAT'S WHY Y DONT UNDERSTAND AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!! I'M CONFUSED AND SAD I THINK AND IM AFFRAID I NEVER WILL HAVE THIS FEELINGS AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE IT..BUT IF IT DOESNT FEEL THE SAME WHAT CAN I DO ??? ASK ? MAYBE I'M AFRAID TO HEAR THE OPPOSITE!!!BUT MAYBE IT'S BETTER!!! SOMETIME IM DEPRESED AND AFRAID OF WHAT WILL BE NEXT OR WHY DOES THINGS HAPPEND TO ME WHY DO PASS FOR SO MUCH THINGS AND SOMETHIMES I'M SO CURIOUS OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE..BUT MAYBE NOT I TRUST IN GOD AND HOPE TO MAKE ME HAPPY SOME THEY AND GIVE ME WHAT I DISERVE BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY THAT KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT FOR ME!!